Am I A Sex Addict?

Am I a sex addict? Do I have a sex addiction?

Are these questions you’ve asked yourself, or perhaps wondered about your partner? We recently conducted a Google search and discovered this was one of the biggest questions people were searching for when they felt out of control with their sexual behavior. It can feel overwhelming when behaviors are out of alignment with values and you’re not sure what to do.

What Is A Sex Addict?

Let’s start with what a sex addiction is. Sex addiction has been the common language used to describe people, most commonly men, who act and feel out of control with their sexual urges and behaviors. The label of “addiction” implies that they are helpless to manage their sexual behaviors and need outside support such as a 12 step group and intensive therapy. However, additional perspectives and approaches to problematic sexual behavior have been introduced to understand what’s going on.

Symptoms Of Sex Addiction

People who feel they are a sex addict are often engaged in consensual behaviors but are being dishonest and living outside of the values that they want to uphold. Despite their attempts to stop, they continue to engage in these behaviors and ultimately need support with a group or individual therapist to be able to. 

Here are some questions to help you determine if you are feeling out of control with your sexual behavior. These questions may be with or without a partner (masturbation, for example). If you find that you have experienced one of more of these consequences below or feel like you could experience one of these consequences with the behaviors you are engaging in, it could be worthwhile to seek support to discuss your sexual health concerns: 

1. I have lost a job because of my sexual activities

2. My relationship is continuously strained because of my sexual activities

3. I have gotten a sexually transmitted infection because of my sexual activities

4. I have had legal trouble because of my sexual activities

5. I have emotionally hurt someone I care about because of my sexual activities

6. I have betrayed trust in a siginicant relationship because of my sexual activities

7. My sexual activities have interfered with work or schooling

8. My sexual activities have interfered with my ability to have healthy sex

9. I have lost respect from people I care about due to my sexual activities

10. The quality of my personal relationships have suffered due to my sexual activities

11. My spiritual well being has suffered because of my sexual activities

12. My self respect, self esteem, and self confidence has been negatively impacted due to my sexual activities

Sex Addiction vs. Compulsive Sexual Behavior

Doug Braun-Harvey introduced an alternative way of understanding “sex addiction”, viewing it as a sexual health problem vs an addiction.

Viewing it as a problem makes it no less serious than an addiction. However, it opens up new ways to understand what is happening within the individual that is driving their behavior so they can regain control of their behaviors and live within their values. While the criteria for being a sex addict may be based on behaviors the model has predetermined are unhealthy, the out-of-control sexual health model empowers the individual to determine what behaviors are not working for them in their lives. 

Sex Addiction Treatment

If you or someone you care about is struggling with unwanted compulsive sexual behavior, AKA a “sex addiction”, rest assured that there are treatment options available. It IS possible to address the underlying issues driving the behavior and live a life within your value system and free of the shame brought on by unwanted compulsions.

The Healing Group provides compulsive sexual behavior counseling for both men and women in Utah seeking healing and hope. Our AASECT certified therapists can guide you through the process of identifying distressing behavior, understanding triggers, reducing shame messages, creating accountability, regaining control of your life, and more.

Check out our Men’s Empowerment Group for openings, or contact our Client Care Coordinators to schedule individual therapy. Call or text 801-305-3171 for more information.